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1. |
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i let it out
i let her down
i forgot what it's about
i forgot what it's about
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2. |
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all the pigment fades away,
that heart tattoo looks like a hand grenade
the character that you portrayed
looks like a stranger in many ways
“you’d hate forever if you tried”
so i’ll wait forever in this light
you took down the lines before sunrise
“i know what happens in your mind”
and you sat around for days
in a cold deluded haze
hard to grow when nothings changed
you’re a forest engulfed in flames
burnt down, there’s nowhere left to hide
you hate that this might be your life
fucked up and spiraling through time
i’m here no matter what you decide
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3. |
Not Like That!
02:32
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think you know me all wrong
up all night write sad songs
longing for a small win
it consumes me again
not like that in your head
all alone, you drop dead
there won't be a next time
i don't think that we're fine
did harmony korine direct
this part of “my life’s a wreck”
the show that i pretend i’m on
whenever shit starts going wrong
(it all goes wrong)
you keep asking
(it always does)
no one's telling you a thing
(it all goes wrong)
cuz no one wants to hear
(it always does)
your fears and bullshit
they don't think it's that bad
i just felt like you should quit
or grow a little bit
i don't wanna make amends
or tell you anything
plus we won't own up to shit
uh huh
they don't understand
when you can't go on and
i can see that you’re asleep
don’t wanna bother you
wake your ass up all the time
just like i always do
this is how you write a song
fuck that MKG dude
i used to think pop punk was cool
then i stopped eating baby food
not like that in your head
all alone, you drop dead
there won't be a next time
i don't think that we're fine
it's clear that we forgot our lines
and no one here can improvise
it's time to pick what side you're on
the second shit starts going wrong
(it all goes wrong)
the same question
(it always does)
slowly makes you lose your mind
(it all goes wrong)
and your reaction's
(it always does)
an isolated incident in time
i can see that you’re asleep
don’t wanna bother you
wake your ass up all the time
just like i always do
triple platinum overnight
bank account doesn't move
i wrote this in my grandma's car
recorded it inside there too
not like that in your head
all alone, you drop dead
there won't be a next time
i don't think that we're fine
not like that in your head
all alone, you drop dead
there won't be a next time
i don't think that we're fine
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4. |
Marlboro Floors
02:51
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i’ll never stop being tired of all the ways...
two-hundred and forty some odd days...
benevolent reactions to
all the toxic shit you do
hurt yourself in front of me
then question why i never sleep
that great when i’m in your bed
i know who i am in your head
i felt my lungs flare up
i heard a ringing sound
hope i don’t take too much
and end up underground
chewed enough to sink into the couch
but couldn’t stop thinking about fucking someone else
because that’d be against the rules
our own dead end, where we steal jewels
was all that we were ever longing for
rock bottom’s got me shook to my fucking core
awake and a little more aware
it’s been a while since i’ve had that nightmare
where you wake me up with buckshot and
the last thing is see is the gun in your hand
purgatory seems exciting these days
but they’re all one in the same
& there’s a screen that replays
your nightmares in your nightmares
nobody’s ever there and you start to care
didn’t wanna walk on eggshells
for the rest of my days on earth
i just needed you to hold me
and you vaporized my self-worth
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5. |
High Road
01:30
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what’s the high road
and where’s it even go
don’t need to find out myself
to know it probably blows
i’m the funniest joke
that no one wishes they wrote
so i’ll just laugh at myself
until i decompose
while we wait around,
i don’t want to watch you just fade out
maybe i will wake up this time,
but i don’t buy it, we lie
iPhone’s dead, you think too much
and smoke the same weed every day
your mouth is dry, the coffees hot
something else is wrong too but i forgot
epitome of apathy
i don’t think i’d be too pressed
if you killed me
we should wait
to drive through kansas in the morning
no street lights or gas for the next 240
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6. |
On The Way Home
02:47
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on the way home i became hopeful
that i wasn’t the only one who changed over time
but growth is never linear and i can’t describe
how broken i’ve felt most days that i’ve been alive
no matter how hard you try, nothing will turn out right
all alone, forget the Christmas lights
open up your fucking eyes
admitting you were wrong but never in real life
just in my dreams and the dream has died
only communicate through silence, conversation deprived
if it wasn’t for Judy, I would not be alive
stopped eating acid, it’s like learning to crawl
when life becomes lifeless, the thrill of it all
slips out of your body and into the past
a deal with the devil won’t bring any of it back
wish there was a version of you that still exists
like when I was a kid, but no manipulative shit
thought making me upset with you was better than hating myself
don’t know what to think right now cuz no one told me how I felt
i’m afraid to talk
when no one listens at all
i’m afraid to call
cause every time I fall
isolate
record this shit all day
i've smoked 30 blunts this week
but i still feel insane
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7. |
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descending into hell
but you’re just falling through the atmosphere
that looks like the earth below
but you still can’t get away from here
the turbulence sure shook your core
but now you’re prepared for some more
the day gets worse, it just rains a little harder
you get hurt, or you can get a little smarter
or better at dealing with all the shit
that makes you wish you did not exist
you’re feeling stuck
hard to admit how fucked up you are
but you don’t think about it all that much
unless you’re fuckin up again
dad won’t text “you are”
while you empty out cigars
that’s the life you want
under the stars
the pale blue dot just gets a little farther
as you drift out, it starts to get a little darker
lose track of the years you spent weightless
as you become one with the abyss
waiting for life to
happen finally for you
had a bad day,
tomorrow might just be one too
the clock resets and all this starts over
you’ve never even seen your first four leaf clover
but the more you start to feel like you
you get lost in the deja-vu
the day gets worse, it just rains a little harder
you get hurt, or you can get a little smarter
or better at dealing with all the shit
that makes you wish you did not exist
Alley:
time moving flat circle
planet on my back turtle
all of this weight that i place on my shoulders
keeping me from leaping over the hurdle
happiness reserve deserted awol dishonored service
lookin upon this sapphire from space and still it elude me
a higher purpose
desire power so they step on you to get across
feeling unintelligible fuck it let the pistol talk
loop the routine everyday kin to Sisyphus
til it’s ‘in memoriam’ my face across a picture board
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8. |
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getting knocked off of a tidal wave,
you would’ve ridden that high in the sunset
it empties all your pockets for a pretty chunk of change
and when it’s gone you wonder if it’s begun yet
Lonny, you can do a lot better
than spending all your time
treating this like some endeavor
this peak isn’t worth the climb
this time is different,
timings perfect,
timing’s everything
living out every scenario
inside my fucked up brain
it’s natural for a dying to leaf
to be frightened by the autumn wind
i’ll always play the dying leaf
and you’ll be the tornado again
i said that i’m strong enough
to paddle my own canoe
so of course you broke the oars in half
and then i died for you
we keep what’s given to us by
giving it away
but you never give anything
so how can i just let you take
now i’m emptier than i
really knew that i could be
and there is no love left or
motivation here for me
on the roof for the first time i
don't check what time it is
i already know the sun is coming up
and i feel like shit
i’ve ruined my own life
more than you fuckers could ever try
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9. |
The Hotdog Blues
02:10
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you should think about
how those words sound
no one’s always stuck this way
a sefish thread unravels for days
wait in doorways for something great?
i’m good
you tell yourself to stay in shape
but that gets worse the more you waste
into nothing
like how your favorite food tastes
a constant uphill battle
for a peaceful summer day
is something you shouldn’t be afraid to chase
making plans to cancel them
wide awake but sleeping in
your head when conversations almost start
they think that you’re not interested
but you were and still don’t get
how to not feel so left in the dark
blinkers until i throw up
the drive through kansas kinda sucks
no appetite, can’t tell you why
i bought a Big Hunk for the ride
home again and down to my last cent
never quite sure how it all gets spent
rock bottom just sinks lower every year
wasting time on several screens
with frankie cat and sydney beans
there’s nowhere else i’d rather be than here
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10. |
Down & Out
01:55
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laid up in a hammock
a blunt in your hand
you like this you more
and can’t understand
where they go in your head
when you need reminded
you don’t need to die yet
some days it subsides and
it feels like a home
in your skin that you loathed
for a lifetime
cry whenever you want
and you lie the
closer to home
that you hid
in a desperate attempt
to cover up that you don’t get
any of the things you need and
nothing makes you wanna be
present huffing air from other peoples
mouths, not lost & found
just down & out
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11. |
$40K
01:01
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fucked around spent $40k
on a recording and mixing degree
but i think it's clear i didn't learn anything
and that's why Billy mixed this album for me
before that i accidentally picked some fights
with some assholes that i thought i liked
a year of panic attacks, you got the masters back
there's a couple things that you still lack
a quarter of weed for a quarter of the week
that's barely enough for me
you're always worried
that you're just playing pretend
not making anything
that gets consumed by all your friends
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12. |
100 Rings
03:31
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12:34 again
and you’re not really that surprised
that you’re awake and empty
sorta used to not
having any thoughts
but you cracked a can of fucked up
and let them free
you hope no one else feels this dizzy when
they start to think of all the times they bled
in bathroom sinks or every tiny injury,
to all the dreams that suddenly ceased to be
bored and stoned
looking through all the old messages
in my phone
and i realize the last time
my brothers and sister talked to me
was last may when i turned twenty three
take that foot off the gas
i love them
out of the blue another 365 days go by
and every time the mirror sees your face
it can barely recognize
who you are or if you’re alive
but life is so many things
we never even see
infinite possibilities,
graceful beginnings
every night you forgot in your sleep
i love them
why’s it always feel like the ending again
and you notice because the simulation’s
fucked up but you’re doing a lot
better than you were last year
but you still feel stuck here
or anywhere at all
there’s still that fear of death
i love it
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13. |
DPLB
02:33
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everybody’s doing something
i’m stoned on the basement couch
i know no one would probably notice
i need a replacement now
to take over this existence that i fucked up
and didn’t ask for anyway
they could be a better Lonny than me
even if i ever changed
when the expectations are so high
that as soon as you’re born, it’ll fix their lives
but you throw a fit and then his shoe flies
right past your head, all you do is cry
does anything get better?
am i still that little kid?
that was terrified to call anyone on
the fucked up shit they did
well i still can’t tell my own dad
when he makes me feel worthless
and i don’t think there’s a strain that
will ever make those things hurt less
i fantasize about it too much
disappearing but it’s real
and never oversharing or explaining
anything i feel
but that won’t ever make me better
it makes me cease to exist
like every time i think i fuck up
instinctively, i make a fist
there might not be an afterlife
where i can reminisce
and who would take sydney’s glasses off her face
to give her forehead a kiss
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14. |
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the only thing you’ve meant that you said in
the last nine god damn months
was when you told them you needed space from them
and then you let go all at once
evaporating, you turn your head
forgetting all those pretty words they said
memories antagonize,
red flags hidden under sheets of lies
they loved when you could just be yourselves
but now you’re running away from the past
they don’t sell comfortable shoes down in hell
you always wondered “how long could this last?”
the coffee cups are so stained and brown
charleston’s a fucking ghost town
they won’t forget your voice,
they love its sound
white nikes with the blood stains,
what a mess, i hate my skin
i keep on having the same nightmare
where i rip it open again
white nikes with the blood stains,
“you’re a mess, you’ll never win”
i always find a silly reason
i should tear it to shreds again
white nikes with the blood stains,
all i think about is them
and finding spotted sheets of toilet paper
in your bathroom trash can again
white nikes with the blood stains,
when i ask you where you’ve been
you say “a lot of fucked up places”
and “i’ll never love again”
white nikes with the blood stains,
i don’t know how to not think you hate me when
you cut me off for the millionth time
then you disappear again
white nikes with the blood stains,
sinking ship and i can’t swim
i wouldn’t wanna weigh down your only life raft
and make you hate yourself again
at least
we’re going fucking nuts in solidarity
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15. |
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i must astral projecting
the way i’m sinking through this bed
when i said i couldn’t be here
i meant until i’m dead
this certain brand of psychedelics
that’s become such a chore
i thought i could be a sailor
till’ i washed up on the shore
i’m separation anxiety in the middle of the street
that little familiarity in every person you meet
the bright side of falling asleep while you drive
is waking up wrapped in power lines
i'm lonely
feels like i'm taking blinkers in the backrooms
always missing all the action
why would i need to be present
when you could just tell me what happened
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The Acid Flashback at Nightmare Beach Hillsboro, Illinois
JAZZ FROM
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE.
The Acid Flashback at Nightmare Beach recommends:
Remembering The Rockets
by Strange Ranger
feels like the end of the world and it makes me wanna do everything before that happens.
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this is the blueprint. conor murphy may very well be the second coming of christ.
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Comfort Foods
by Bigger Better Sun
billy is a genius producer and the lyrics on this album make me like music.
go to albumIf you like The Acid Flashback at Nightmare Beach, you may also like:
supported by 7 fans who also own “Jazz From The Other Side of The House”
Such a good EP! each song just gets stuck in your head like a parasite, I love it so much Also didn’t expect to relate to Pretty Boi as much as I do…
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supported by 7 fans who also own “Jazz From The Other Side of The House”
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A solarpunk concept album set in the not-too-distant tomorrow, Tom John Hall uses elegantly wrought art rock to tell a winding tale.
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