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1. |
Bless Your Fucking Soul
02:18
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getting knocked off of a tidal wave,
you would’ve ridden that high in the sunset
it empties your pockets for a pretty chunk of change
and when it’s gone you wonder if it’s begun yet
Lonny, you can do a lot better
than spending all your time
treating this like some endeavor
this peak isn’t worth the climb
this time is different,
timings perfect, timing’s everything
living out every scenario
inside my fucked up brain
it’s natural for a dying to leaf
to be frightened by the autumn wind
i’ll always play the dying leaf
and you’ll be the tornado again
i said that i’m strong enough
to paddle my own canoe
so of course you broke the oars in half
and then i died for you
we keep what’s given to us
by giving it away
but you never give anything
so how can i just let you take
when i’m emptier than i
really knew that i could be
and there is no love left or
motivation here for me
on the roof for the first time i
don't check what time it is
i already know the sun is coming up
and i feel like shit
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2. |
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“i love unconditionally,
i’m just too mortified”, they howl
why was i never good enough
and why am i how
just keep up the illusion
and post a picture on the internet
of our brand new bathroom mirror
before you bashed my face right into it
the alluded love isn’t worth
the time you daydream being part of the earth
nightmares, triple texts, read receipts and lies
lobotomies, bread crumbs and no replies
at least i recycled the doubt with both my hands
you duly noted how i’m always
mapping out my exit plan
i wanna run around in circles
i wanna feel something again
the world has bigger houses and circles of friends
but all i dwell on is how i’m not in them
prelapsarian paradise
gets spoiled right before your eyes
you fall on one knee, then on deaf ears
the ghost of you just reappears
twenty miles out of town, my brain starts to shut down
juul pods and coffee just to stay awake now
attempt to stir up a conversation
where no one brings up medication
dear diary
i’m bumming myself out
by writing every excruciating detail down
the suns burning into nothing
i’m making blueberry muffins
i don’t wanna get on twitter at all today
fuck what donald trump or kanye west have got to say
three wishes, use them all to make me go away
or i’ll just get real ripped and wish for another plague
flickering there behind the blinds
all of our lights as time unwinds
like it will when there’s no breath in my lungs
when my fire burns out and this fades to a hum
chose tails every time
but the quarter had heads on both its sides
no one ever really wins in life, it’s wild
except for billionaire pedophiles
no reason for the goodbyes
fell apart for lifetimes
nicotine nightmares, heaven is under
braced yourself for the lightning,
then shook at the thunder
sometimes when i find the right words,
the chills i don't think i deserve
are already spreading like a virus
how did i make myself feel like this?
calcification’s killing me
slowly but not as slow as i would like death to be
i’ve got too much shit to do
so i can’t die today
and that’s a shame
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3. |
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the only thing you’ve meant that you said in
the last nine god damn months
was when you told them you needed space from them
and then you let go all at once
evaporating, you turn your head
forgetting all the pretty words they said
memories antagonize,
red flags hidden under sheets of lies
they loved when you could just be yourselves
but now you’re running away from the past
they don’t sell comfortable shoes down in hell
you always wondered “how long could this last?”
the coffee cups are so stained and brown
charleston’s a fucking ghost town
they won’t forget your voice,
they love its sound
white nikes with the blood stains,
what a mess, i hate my skin
i keep on having the same nightmare
where i rip it open again
white nikes with the blood stains,
“you’re a mess, you’ll never win”
i always find a silly reason
i should tear it to shreds again
white nikes with the blood stains,
all i think about is them
and finding spotted sheets of toilet paper
in your bathroom trash can again
white nikes with the blood stains,
when i ask you where you’ve been
you say “a lot of fucked up places”
and “i’ll never love again”
white nikes with the blood stains,
i don’t know how to not think you hate me when
you cut me off for the millionth time
then you disappear again
white nikes with the blood stains,
sinking ship and i can’t swim
i wouldn’t wanna weigh down your only life raft
and make you hate yourself again
at least
we’re going fucking nuts in solidarity
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The Acid Flashback at Nightmare Beach Hillsboro, Illinois
JAZZ FROM
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE.
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