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A Dream That Lasts For Eternity

by The Acid Flashback at Nightmare Beach

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1.
don’t think i won’t don’t think again you could never stop it trapped inside empty black rooms with your homemade bottle rockets you’re always up to nonsense third degree burns, but shit could be worse getting worried that i’ll always be too close to home i’ll never have a life thats my own you say “help me write up a press kit” but i don’t even know what that means or “find me some antidepressants” the only thing that helps these days is weed yeah...
2.
Mad at Him 02:26
every few months get hit with the brutal realization that i’ve just been smokin mids, lungs full of flames i’m wastin my own fuckin breath ay i don’t think my lung’s cut out for this whether i’m gaspin for fresh air or callin out to my therapist pay my rent when it’s due no landlord kickin my ass out garbage truck might not come but we still takin the trash down no more wars unless we talkin class finger on a shard of glass, learnin from the past no billionaire in history made a billion dollars ethically endgame? what’s the apogee? no more worries for your family? that hasn’t even been born yet trying to maintain your dynasty but i’ll devour the cops and the 1% without a thought of anxiety but the blood's gotta spill at the end of the evenin always a reason our earthly bodies stop breathin too soon on the full moon, howlin into the abyss how many folks that think freedom is theirs really know what freedom is? easy on yourself, it’s the end of the day we can play our memories back in 4k some day i think i’ll watch the one on moms 51st birthday a lot when she’s gone and all my hairs gray and as i get worse at knowing just what to say maybe i was like it all along and all alone it’s hard to see yourself from a perspective that ain’t your own or to admit it’s all bullshit, everything you’ve ever known cold like a stone, put down the phone you’re already home
3.
you call it a graveyard i call it a goldmine fucked up and starved trippin wires on your landmines you call it a parked car i call it a lifeline you said it was so charred you couldn’t even recognize you call it a glass shard i call it an exit your question caught me off guard and i meant to deflect it all of the red flags that demanded to be seen wish the passenger airbag kept you alive and serene you call it a lost cause i call it simply hopeless pissing in the wind now you’re covered in your own piss you call it a pipe dream i call me on my own bullshit hard to get pulled by the strings when you’re not a fucking puppet
4.
5.
beyond distressed with black-coated lungs you’re never impressed you’ve never had fun a giant water bottle won’t keep your demons at bay you’ll be a little less dehydrated but you’ll still never know what to say you don’t wanna know all the secrets of life just how to know when you should back out of fights without having to take this many punches to only feel empty inside I need to take this slow so its flawless but then I just feel empty and i’m sorry a giant blunt that you rolled won’t annihilate decay you’ll be a little less anxious but you’ll still be dead someday so take the time that you have left it’s for you, all for yourself to do all of the things you love the best as long as they don’t hurt someone else doing something with somebody else
6.
7.
8.
am i so fucking chaotic that i make good people worse just by hopelessly existing and convincing them that therapy works am i so fucking obnoxious that all my words come out as bits seven layers of irony deep no one can tell that i mean it i shower my reflection in compliments try to lighten the mood a bit but i get dizzy if i stare for too long took too many hits lightheaded but at what cost a white wooden window pane stays coated in frost and a couch that’s easy to sink into like all the days behind you or even the ones that haven’t happened yet with bated breath everybody waits for the sun to explode so many corpses that we can’t have funerals pathetic, synthetic manifestation pathetic, synthetic manifestation pathetic, synthetic manifestation pathetic, synthetic manifestation sometimes I’ve got so much hope for the world i can get out of bed and smile a little bit while i water my flowers and get through this shit sometimes I remember every terrible opinion I’ve ever heard and I would pay you money to suck the oxygen out of my lungs
9.
25I-NBOMe 03:29
this is a serious question have you ever had a hotdog before? they are wonderful and tasty and tender i really wanna eat a hotdog right now hotdog hotdog hotdog, my mouth is watering what do i need? a hotdog is what i see in my future hotdog hotdog
10.
100 Rings 03:31
12:34 again and you’re not really that surprised that you’re awake and empty sorta used to not having any thoughts but you cracked a can of fucked up and let them free you hope no one else feels this dizzy when they start to think of all the times they bled in bathroom sinks or of every tiny injury to all the dreams that suddenly ceased to be bored and stoned looking through all the old messages in my phone and i realize the last time my brothers and sister talked to me was last may when i turned twenty take that foot off the gas (i love them) out of the blue another 365 days go by and every time the mirror sees your face it can barely recognize who you are or if you’re alive but life is so many things we never even see infinite possibilities, graceful beginnings every night you forgot in your sleep why’s it always feel like the ending again and you notice because the simulation’s fucked up but you’re doing a lot better than you were last year but you still feel stuck here or anywhere at all there’s still that fear of death (i love it)
11.
1967 but with a plague like 45 but it’s on purpose they know exactly what they’re doing aware that most don’t have the courage these homicidal fucks would pull their guns on air bubbles on the surface as easy as it is to get a badge, they sure seem to think they earned it law & order doesn’t mean anything you think it means society won’t begin to collapse when blue uniforms don’t hold weight like they did in the past for every “blue lives matter” post, i have to remind them they don’t you got to choose your fucked profession, a conscious choice to uphold oppression i am not alive i am not alive
12.
these cemetery gates are a once-stainless chain link fence rusted hatch left unlatched by those careless who came and went when you're not worth saving they don't care to let you slip into the blank headstones, waiting for engravings next to the drive through soldiers marching, nothing I can do this church has been burning over a decade no answer to repeated crisis calls made no insulation, x marks the spot not-so-empty graves left out back to rot the rats hang around letting their lungs fill with smoke but everyone else forgot who cares if i'm broken? i think i’m the only one who does

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released July 3, 2020

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The Acid Flashback at Nightmare Beach Hillsboro, Illinois

JAZZ FROM
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE.

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